Park Cities Presbyterian Church (PCA)

Pornography

in our culture, our community, our church, our families

By Patrick Lafferty

Published November 1, 2008 in Witness

At least one reason Jesus refers to sin as an enslaving thing (John 8:34) is that it hides a destructive thing in an alluring thing. It teaches us to love what we know to be unholy, and thereby we find ourselves unable to slake the desire for it. Sin takes a good and beautiful thing and subtly reorients our way of seeing what it is and what it is for. Subtly and insidiously has sin repeated that same process when it comes to sexuality.

On August 17, Brent Baker and I collaborated in a presentation on the increasingly pervasive and destructive problem of internet pornography. Our primary task was to address the issue of how to protect our children from the virtual onslaught of pornographic material. But the material had relevance to all present, young or old, single or married, male or female.

We had four goals for all who attended:

1) to inform them of the extent of the problem,
2) to exhort us all both to preemptive action and properly responsive action,
3) to remind us of how the gospel speaks to the issue, and
4) to supply everyone with helpful resources.

Brent first shared astonishing data about the degree to which the porn industry had manifested such a presence on the internet; ubiquitous is an understatement. The industry’s total net income even in 2006 exceeded the income of the eight top grossing companies combined. Brent’s own experience in shepherding students for years only confirmed the industry’s reach into youth culture. Most sobering to him was the youth culture’s perception of pornography. Gone were the days when they might consider exposure to such material scandalous. Now, pornography has become a commonplace feature of life and their thinking about sex.

Those present then heard how destructive this pervasive influence had become. The objectification of women, the addictive power it was wielding over men and women alike, the destruction of marriages and families—the increasing accessibility of pornography had left these cultural trends in its wake. Even Naomi Wolf, in her essay “The Porn Myth,” observed that pornography had actually diluted the very drive it had ostensibly sought to energize; the mysterious sacredness of sex had been lost through its reckless, sensationalized exhibition in pornography.

Why so much destruction had been wrought in so little time boiled down to a paradox: pornography has both overvalued sexuality by portraying it as the very pinnacle of human existence and undervalued sexuality by dislocating it from its original context—as one of the panoply of gifts God has given His people.

To even begin to address how to protect our children and ourselves from pornography’s pervasive destructiveness required a basic theology of sexuality. Therefore, we sought to remind listeners how sex, having been created by God for His good purposes, is necessarily a good thing. But the capacity to experience its goodness demands respecting the context it was designed for: an humble, committed, monogamous marital relationship. Scripture does not hide its praise of marital love. It does not blush at human regard for sex. Scripture even points to marital intimacy as an analogue for the kind of committed love God has for His people. But without a respect for sexuality in the full sense scripture articulates it, we risk turning it into something less than it is.

Brent and I therefore called parents to champion that view of sexuality for our children and to preach it to ourselves. For it’s with that theology of sex that we see its nature and purposes; it’s the gospel of grace found in Christ that helps us know how to respond to our failure to treat sex with proper regard. It’s in the gospel that we know there is forgiveness. It’s through the gospel we know there is hope for renewal of our sexual lives. It’s from within the community of the gospel, the church, that we find the support, encouragement, and accountability to leave a destructive, offensive sexual past behind.

Both Brent and I also wanted to speak delicately but candidly about our own struggles with this entangling sin so that others may know they’re not alone. More importantly though, we spoke openly to let those who struggle also know that there’s hope for renewal. For all the sobering reminders of how far this entangling sin has reached into our culture and community, there is even more abundant hope for disentangling ourselves by His Word and Spirit.

We concluded our presentation by pointing the audience to a number of resources that had shown good success in reducing access to objectionable material online, in providing effective accountability for those who use the internet, and in charting a path out of obsession with pornography. While the Spirit seeks to build in us hearts whose view of sexuality aligns with the Lord’s call to “hold marriage in regard... and keep the marriage bed pure” (Hebrews 13:4a), the best thing to do in the short-term is to increase accountability, while, if necessary, also reducing accessibility.

If you’d like to see the presentation in full, just go to the PCPC Families with Children website.

Resources on pornography and healthy sexuality

recommended by PCPC Pastors Patrick Lafferty, Bill Lamberth, and Jeff White

Purity and Passion: Authentic Male Sexuality, James Childerston and Rick Ghent

Sexual Intimacy in Marriage; Sexuality and Reproductive Technologies, William Cutrer

Healing the Wounds of Sexual Addiction, Mark Laaser

A Celebration of Sex, Douglas Rosenau

Real Sex, Lauren Winner

False Intimacy: Understanding the Struggle of Sexual Addiction, Harry Schaumburg

Sexual Sanity: Breaking Free from Uncontrolled Habits, Earl Wilson

Every Man’s Battle: Winning the War on Sexual Temptation One Victory at a Time, Stephen Arterburn

Addictions: A Banquet in the Grave: Finding Hope in the Power of the Gospel, Edward Welch

No Stones: Women Redeemed from Sexual Sham, Marnie C. Ferree

Online resources

www.pureonline.com: an online series of messages designed to aid one in escaping the pull of pornography (fee charged)

www.covenanteyes.com: an accountability software program—the software sends periodic updates of your internet usage (fee charged)

www.internetsafety.com: a customizable filter of internet sites as well as an accountability feature that sends periodic updates of your internet usage to friends you select (fee charged)

www.xxxchurch.com: (xxxchurch is the distributor of xxxwatch.com) another accountability software program (both free and paid versions)

groups.yahoo.com/group/PCPCParentChat: a newly established forum for PCPC parents who’d like to stay in touch with one another about protecting their kids from pornography; and offer insights, share resources, solicit prayers (no charge, just enroll at the site)